Developing Comfort Zones

When two people meet and begin dating, it usually feels awkward until they get to know each other better. They begin their relationship by trading personal information, and much of it is simply factual. They talk about where they work, grew up, how many siblings they have and other general information that might be of interest. As the relationship develops, they might discuss events that affected them in their childhood, or they might talk about their goals for the future.

There are many subjects in the modern world where people disagree greatly, but a couple needs to know where their partner stands. Taking the easy way of refusing to discuss a topic at all will not help them grow a bond of trust, so it is best for them to establish comfort zones where they can talk about whatever they want. If they do it correctly, their chances of having a relationship that will last for decades are greatly enhanced.

It is not always easy to establish comfort zones, so laying out a few rules beforehand is important. When the couple chooses to talk about controversial or strongly emotional topics, they should be in a place where they both feel comfortable. The feeling of physical comfort will help cushion them through any emotional discomfort that arises, and they will be better able to listen to their partner.

Listening to the other person’s point of view is important in a relationship, and it is part of what happens within a comfort zone. Each person is allowed to have their say on the topic being discussed, and the other person must listen and respond to them. In this way, each of them can feel they have been heard. There are no rules that they must change their thoughts on the topic for the relationship to continue, so it functions as a relief valve for the couple to air out their feelings.